Legacy of an Adopted Child

"Once there were two women, who barely knew each other. One is in your heart forever, the other you'll call mother. Two different lives, shaped to make yours one. One became your guiding star, the other became your sun. The first gave you life, and the second taught you how to live it. The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it. One gave you nationality, the other gave you a name. One gave you the seed of talent, the other gave you an aim. One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears. One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears. One gave you a family, it was what God intended for her to do. The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you. And now you ask me, through your tears, the age old question through the years. Heredity or environment....which are you a product of? Neither my darling...neither, just two different kinds of love". - Unknown

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Please Pray

We just wanted to let everyone know what has been going on with our adoption lately. Tuesday night, we received a phone call from our caseworker at Gladney with some sad news. Alex's birth mother has come back for him. Because this is now occurring and most court systems will do what they can to keep parents and children together, Alex is no longer available for international adoption. We are of course devastated becuase we have come so close to getting him, but anyone who knows anything about adoption knows that nothing is final until it is final. This of course does not happen often (Gladney told us we are only the second case in 15 years that they have had this happen to), but it does happen and it is now just a part of our story. There is nothing anyone could have done to prevent this or to know that this was going to happen. Alex had been in the orphange for about 18 months and his mother never once tried to get him back. Everyone who we have been working with at Gladney and in Russia is heartbroken over what is happening to us and doing all they in making us a priority to find a new referral. Even though we are "grieving" right now and are shocked that this has happened to us, deep down we know and believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason (as we have said all along). There was a reason Alex was brought into our life for this short time - to show us the love that a parent can have for a child. There was a reason that there was a hold up with sending our final paperwork to Russia for our court date - we weren't meant to be Alex's parents and God has bigger and better plans for us. There is a reason he has been taken away from us - to make us stronger, to bring us closer together as we are going through all of this and to never give up on our journey to our child. We know that many (or probably all) of you who are reading this have already fallen in love with Alex, as we have, but there is another child out there that is meant for us and for you to love. We will definitely keep you all posted as things change or as we hear news. Right now, we just ask for your continued prayers and support (as you have given us all along) and some "private time" as we continue to get through this ourselves. We love you all!

13 comments:

the6houks said...

Dennis and Nicole, there are no words to express right now other than we will continue to pray for you. God does have a family plan for you and our prayer is that it will be revealed quickly.
michelle and randy

Anonymous said...

Dennis and Nicole,
This journey can have such painful turns. We admire your faith in God and will continue to pray for "his will to be done". Meanwhile, know you are in our thoughts and prayers as you grieve.
We recently learned the other Ukrainian girl we were trying to adopt was reunited with her mother. We were sad that she wasn't available for adoption when we adopted our daughter 2 yrs. ago but now hope for her life to have a better outcome than living in an orphange.
Blessings,
Beverly and Gary

Carala said...

Dennis and Nicole,
My heart goes out to you right now. I have no words to epress all the sadness in my heart. But, know I am praying for you. I admire your faith and trust in God. You guys will get through this...but I know you'll never forget him. :-(

We'll pray also for a speedy referral and someone that will fill your heart again.

Carala from Canada

Kevin, Christy and Evan said...

Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kevin, Christy and Evan said...

Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Wendi and Terry said...

Oh Nicole, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I cannot even imagine the range of emotions you are both going through right now. God does have a plan and another child will soon be blessed to have come into your lives. Thoughts and prayers abound for you.

Wendi

Amy said...

Dennis & Nicole...

I wish there was something I could say to make the pain go away. I am so sorry!!

If you get a chance -- drop me an email. I may have something you'd be interested in.

danivann@aol.com

Amy

Anonymous said...

Nicole and Dennis,
So sorry to hear this latest news--I so admire your unswerving faith. You both have a lot to teach us all!! Lots of love and prayers,
Mary and Allen Schaar

Kim said...

I will definitely be praying for you guys. Hoping God's plan for your family is revealed soon!

Laura said...

Dennis and Nicole:

I am so, so very sorry for the pain that you are feeling. I pray for Alex that he and his bm find peace and a happy life and I pray for you that because of Alex, you will now find the child who God intended you to love and raise as your own.

Many blessings to you,
Laura

Sarah said...

So sorry, there really are no words...
The same thing happened to us in 2007. We were waiting for the phone call to tell us we had a court date to adopt two older siblings who we had met 10 weeks before,when we were told that a family member had come forward at the last moment and they were no longer available for adoption. In the same call we were told that because of what had happened they would like to offer us two much younger siblings, which was closer to our original request, and that they would hold them for us until we felt able to travel. Our agency advised us to make a 'head decision' and our heart would catch up later. They were right, we left for Russia within the week, returned ten weeks later for court, totally smooth sailing this time.
I still think about the original children and feel a sense of loss, but I guess this way four children found a home. I do feel like we got the children we were meant to, I just wish it didn't have to be the hard way!
I'm sure that everything will work out for you in the end, but it sure is hard, isn't it? The waiting the 2nd time around is really difficult, as you know it's almost impossible not to get your hopes up.
Again I'm so sorry and wish you the best of luck.

Kim Abraham - Mom to the Fabulous Five! said...

I am so sorry to read your sad news. Allow yourself time to grieve your loss. It is a very real hurt. But I agree that we end up with the kids meant for us. We lost our 1st referral b/c the birth mom came back. She had never visited her child since giving her up at birth, but because the b-mom was trying to reinstate her parental righs, the child was no longer available. I still think about that little girl and pray for her salavation so we can meet in heaven. It was hard to get excited about our 2nd referral or let my guard down and truly love her until the day we walked out of the orphanage with her. Today, I cannot imagine our lives without our daughter. She couldn't be more perfect for our family. I pray the same for you. Lean on the Lord and your faith will get you through this difficult time.

Anonymous said...

I am so so sorry about this. I had no idea until today. This has really hurt you and Dennis I know and I am very sad for you both and your families. This was one of the hardest things for me to read as I shead tears for you all. I will pray for Alex and you. God does have a plan and we just can not question it. He knows what is right and will deliver many many joyful blessing soon to you! GOD BLESS and keep the faith! Peace, Mary Margaret